Godzilla 2000 (Gojira ni-sen mireniamu): 7/10: Promoted with a kick ass trailer (which was infinitely better than the film itself) Godzilla 2000 roared into theaters a few years back on a mission to erase the memory of "that American Godzilla". For many of us it would be the first time seeing a Japanese Godzilla on the big screen. (I may have seen Godzilla 1985 in the theater but my memory is a bit fuzzy). Turns out while there is something charming about watching a Godzilla film in your footy pjs every Saturday morning during Million Dollar Movie on Channel 9, a lot of that love disappears when you plopped down seven-fifty.
The movie starts out strong enough with a couple of brilliant scenes that ape both Twister and Jurassic Park. You got to love them Godzilla tornado chasers and when the big guy himself blocks a tunnel and breathes on the windshield it is the pinnacle of Godzilla film-making.
It of course is all downhill from there. For one thing Godzilla himself pretty much disappears from the movie. He is replaced by a pet rock. Yes a completely inanimate object. Needless to say the fidget factor is high. Add in subplots you couldn't care less about and characters more irritating than anything else and you would be excused for reaching for the fast forward button. (Much easier at home than in the theater)
Godzilla reappears and the rock, which has planted itself on top of a building and is apparently downloading all the contents of Tokyo's computers, shows its true colors as an alien that resembles of all things "that American Godzilla". Godzilla certainly doesn't stand by and lets some illegal alien destroy Tokyo. No way some wetback union busting scab is going to muscle in on big greens action. Destroying Tokyo is Godzilla's personal gig.
The effects are actually pretty good (with the exception of the underwater scenes) and the dubbing is particularly bad (even for a Godzilla film. It is also strangely profanity laden especially considering Godzilla himself doesn't kill anyone on screen.) The last scene however is a true "What the F**k" moment with one of the silliest lines ever uttered on film. It made me feel ten years old all over again.
Comments (3)
I wuv cute wittle Godzilla!!! I want to cuddle him.....hehe
I'm sorry. I have no patience for Godzilla. sigh. I've tried....really, I have. If nothing else, I've tried for the fun of it, but my mind keeps wondering off to how much more interesting it would be to say...clean the kitty litter box out, or clip my toenails.
shrugs.
The Japanese can have him.
He's a losah.
I do like the notion of Godzilla, but the reality leaves me bored stiff.
*thinks to self* good things come to those who wait.